Some direction of play thoughts. I'm just a few stones stronger than you, so just consider what I'm saying.
I'd prefer something like making the chinese formation at the left and invade sanrenseí if he takes one side. With this approach you strengthen his sanresei. But this can be a matter of style
Pincer! his potential at top isnt that great cause of your group and your 3-4 stone is strengtehed.
Your potential top is gone. Just live with your corner stones and attack his approaching stones. maybe c13.
Better strengthen your middle stones with something like N15 to prepare for an attack by the top group. Thjen you can still strengthen them with some shape move in the ceenter to attack the top group yourself later or take a big extension at bottom.
attack the top group. E12 for example.
I thought about R13 to counter the slowness of R 14 and if he tenukies i take the corner with q 17, which also threatens some invasion at his top, but there is a big fight goin on at R 12, so I dont know. Maybe your R12 alternative still is best. The problem with your move: He has to reinforce his top someday anyway and you force him to do was has to be done. and even as you do: Your high extension at 
afterwards is of no value as there is no attack goin top. Play this one low to secure the corner better. 
better approach the other corner I'd say. If you want to play locally here try somethin like Q3 and the josekis following. the standard approach gets heavy easily now as you painfully discovered.
much better
I wouldnt call your J 4 group weak because you got D5 still goin
and 
I think you can tenuki, as your second line stone stops the invasion's connection at R15, at least as i read. Still a bit risky. Big moves: M/L7 D5, leftside
The joseki answer is D6. Look at these josekis at Josekipedia.
L9: this is the decisive moment of the game, but actually I'm too weak to tell you right play here. What happens if he cuts at N9? You could sacrifice and march the way down the M line. what if he just extends or counter hanes? Your sacrifice still would work, if you don't defend the cut. I can't say if the sacrifice here is good. You sure can keep on attacking his group and he gets about 20 points. Were you willing to sacrifice ?
Can you really tenuki ? I can't see a good attacking move for him, I'd try to run more as black.
This one on N6
Do something for your dragon. Everyday. I would have played F10 or M11.
), while I had to fiddle around with 5 groups - whereof one got actually lost. 
. On the other hand, by abandoning O3/O4 I would get more freedom to take big plays elsewhere...
.
I can understand your desire to defend this group but consider. The only important piece of this group is N4. The other two stones can be sacrificed very easily. If you want to settle the group perhaps J5 to keep white low. But (I think) the left side is bigger. This group is in no danger. In my eyes it can easily jump up and to the side in "sente" so finding shape wouldn't be too hard.
I would have played this side too.
I would play D17 on the face that the move played in game makes C13 look very inefficient. Plus it gives a very easy result to white.
Seems like a pointless move. The corner is alive and strong because of capturing the two stones, C13 won't be making much points in combination with this move.
Imagine if L3 were at J5 instead. It's possible to imagine that you are beginning to close white out of the center.
Good plan so far. Not losing sight of what's important.
As you can see this was too aggressive. Perhaps N12 instead. If white runs out with M14, black can connect at O9 and close white out of the center. And white's group still isn't safe yet. Or maybe read and see if N14 works.
Consider what this move does. It keeps two white groups separate. Which is great if you can find a good way to attack C11. Otherwise this move is the same as a pass in which case the other move would have been better.
should drop to o2 directly ?
hane, maybe W can peep M3 —
seems like a standard reply in Chinese opening, however a counter approach on R6 might be an alternative. Also 
on O3 might be too helpful for white to further strengthen his right side. I could have approached the lower left stone instead and wait for a good opportunity to play e. g. Q7(?). I am still very unsure about direction of play (or whatever... 