Didn't get any games in, was having too much fun doing problems, laying out games from SDK Commentaries and chatting with various people about go. That and I know I'll get a couple of serious games in tomorrow at the club which makes playing feel less urgent.


I started reading Yilun Yang's Workshop Lectures Vol. 2. I really liked his Fundamental Principles of Go book, I felt it a book that someone at almost any level could get something from, so I decided to pick up the two volumes on Smart Go Books and give them a read. I found the chapter on "Playing a territorial game" fascinating, I think I'm being inconsistent in my fuseki and need to refocus a bit. Yes this is probably something I *really* don't have to worry about yet but it interests me so I'm happy to study it and think about it.

Now I just need to think about ways to deal with my weak middlegame and I'll be sorted.

I can't sleep despite sedatives so I thought I'd collect some thoughts on my journey so far:

Things that have helped me:
1) Reviews here obviously. They're a key source of new move ideas for me and encouragement to keep with the game during losing streaks.
2) Solving Problems. I love doing this and find it great fun, this is another key source for new moves and a key way of giving my mind the raw data it needs over and over again to be able to "prune the reading tree" better and read things on sight. I think someone could achieve the same thing through playing lots and lots of games but I think it'd be less efficient.
3) Commented Games. I've found these invaluable for examining my own move selection and thought processes. There's a good way and a lazy way of doing these, the lazy way is to just play out the game and read the comments (I'm as guilty of doing this as anyone), the good way is to play out one move at a time and think about where you'd play next. This helps highlight problem areas in your game and places for you to work on. I've found commented sdk/ddk games to be better for me than commented pro games simply because I can grasp the flow of the game better.

Things that have hindered me:
1) Playing weak DDKs too often as a DDK. Yes the wins were nice but I picked up *a lot* of bad habits on the way. As I've gotten stronger I noticed this more and more. Monkey see, monkey do after all. You wouldn't believe the kinds of moves I considered practically absolute sente until recently. One needs to play strong sdk and dan players often enough even as a fairly weak player just to learn what sente is and isn't, what secure territory is and isn't and so on. The issue is you need to be paying attention to why you're losing which can be surprisingly hard to do. I still remember a 2k friend trying to get through to me at 20k about efficiency. Only now do I fully appreciate what he was trying to say to me but at least he made me aware of it early on.
2) Psychology. Obviously having bipolar makes improvement a lot harder than it has to be. Not much that can be done about that though. I'd love to do something like sign up to Guo Juan class but the reality of being depressed at some point during the semester just throws a complete spanner in the works. Parting with that much money for something that I may not even be able to partially get the most out of would just be silly.
3) Playing too many high handicap games as black and almost never giving a handicap. This has been a problem because of the nature of my club, I'm the weakest player so I'm always taking a handicap or playing even. I've played a total of one game where I gave a handicap in real life. This is not a good thing. Furthering this problem is that I prefer even games a lot more than handicap games because I feel the games "flow" better for me in them. I really need to start giving handicap a lot more, this will change when new people join the club in the new college year but playing absolute beginners on 9 stones isn't going to be a huge help for me I think.
4) Doing problems on a computer or the iPad. Too often I'll "click and see" rather than reading it out if I think I know the vital point. This defeats the entire purpose of problems. Laying problems out on a board forces me to read them out fully. Then trying to refute my answer on the board by playing it out adds another level of practice to each problem. It slows things down greatly but I think it's worth doing. A strong friend of mine pointed out the trap of doing problems too hard for you to refute your own answers. I've avoided this one but I thought I'd mention it as a potential pitfall.
5) Lacking players in my area around the same strength. It would have been lovely to have a few players my own strength around the place to play with. I've only had this experience at tournaments. Tom (tomukaze) is the closest to this now since he recently moved back to my city but in reality he's 2-3 stones stronger than me so it's not really an even contest in even games.


Key books that have helped me:

Get Strong at Tesuji: The book I wish I'd bought the day I started playing go. Just the one and two star problems alone have opened my eyes to so many potential moves in games.
1001 Life and Death Problems: This book has kept me going for 5 or 6 stones now. Mastering the easier problems in this is key to future problems I think.
Fundamental Principles of Go - Yilun Yang: Superb book. I started reading it around 16/17k and even then could take a lot from it. It's still relevant to me now and I imagine it'll still be relevant in 5 or 6 stones time.
Attack and Defense: The book I tried to read too early. This is a great book but I don't think the ideas in it are suitable for weaker DDK players simply because you'll end up aping fancy moves rather than knowing when to use them. Honestly, right now I still don't think I'm strong enough to really get this book and mightn't be for quite some while.
Opening Theory Made Easy: A book to visit and revisit. It seems deceptively simple but this book has quite a lot of nuance to it I think.



I know the majority of people who read this are stronger than me but hopefully some beginner might read this and find it useful. Bear in mind though, I'm odd enough in that I actually enjoy spending a few hours studying go in my leisure time.


Addendum:

About age and go. Picking up this game when I was almost 31 was a real pity for me. Oh to have been ten years younger with a fresher mind and more free time. Still though it's been a fascinating trip so far with plenty of ups and downs.

Analysing my games there's a pattern to them. I'm doing fine for about 50-100 moves then I lose focus on whole board and implode somewhere in the midgame. I need to work on my whole board thinking throughout the game rather than in just the fuseki. I think this alone could be worth a stone to me at the moment. I also need to read a lot more than I do at present. I also need to work on shape. Heh, the list is getting long but the joke I made about needing to improve my middlegame and everything would be fine was only a half joke. If I can improve my middlegame I should be able to be competitive a few stones above my current level I think given how weak my middlegame currently is. My yose needs work too but I feel this is less urgent than my middlegame fighting and invading. My life and death is apparently "ok" for my level, so while I'll continue with life and death drills because I both enjoy them and need the reading practice, this is not a crucial problem area for me at the moment.

My understanding of the game is going through many changes at the moment too. I'm valuing sente more and looking at it differently. I'm experimenting with different reduction/invasion techniques thinking about the meaning of stones, whether they become misplaced or whatever when I'm reading out variations and so on. This is part of the beauty of go for me, the constantly unfurling of new layers of meaning within the game. Long may it continue! Now whether any of this will affect my strength is a different matter. All of this is meaningless until you touch stones etc.



Am I overthinking all of this? Almost certainly. But this is how I work, how I think and how I improve at things. There's an immense amount that I don't understand about this game yet, and probably nearly all of this are things I'm not even or only barely aware of yet. Yet this excites me rather than depresses me. Despite my progress being hindered by depressions and manic episodes, I'm still relatively happy with how things have gone despite what I list above as hindrances. Anyway, I hope this long-winded post was interesting to somebody.

Not a problem. At all. You may not believe me now,
but you'll understand this later, in the natural course of things. Yes, I agree -- it would be very nice for you if you have more players near your level,
especially those who are just slightly better than you.

Yet another thing I don't get yet?

I thought not giving handicap would be a negative thing? Or do you have to get reasonably strong before the benefits of learning to play lightly etc that you're forced to in high handicap games begins to pay off?

I am interested in this as well, as I have wondered about playing too many handicap games as black and not enough as white.

Personally I do not like to play handicap games as much. In a normal game, I feel like I am "building something" because every stone is my own. Playing handicap white, I feel like I am "destroying" because I start at a disadvantage. Playing handicap black, I feel like I am "defending" even when I pressure their groups because I feel obligated to make efficient use of stones that I did not decide to place myself. So the handicap games just do not feel as satisfying to me.

Don't think about defending as black in a handicap game, think about fighting!*



*Within reason of course

I agree! I think the reason it feels like defending anyway though is my attacks usually fail and my opponent is destroying my stones and gaining ground the whole time.

Within reason? Why limit yourself?

_________________
The Adkins Principle:
At some point, doesn't thinking have to go on?
— Winona Adkins

Visualize whirled peas.

Everything with love. Stay safe.

Since you are struggling in the middle game and didn't get that much out of Attack and Defense when you first read it, it may be a good time to reread it, since it is all about what to do in the middle game.

I'm rereading it at the moment.

I'm also revisiting the invasion and reduction section of Fundamental Principles of Go by Yilun Yang.



Go club didn't happen today, so no serious games for me.

Still, have an offer of a meet up during the week from tomukaze so that makes up for it.

So today I introduced a friend to go. He loved it. Went on and on about the aesthetically pleasing nature of it, the depth and subtleties of strategy and tactics and so on. I think we may have a convert. Though this wasn't a hard one, he already played boardgames a lot so the idea of coming over to try a new boardgame wasn't a hard sell.

I've been teaching games for him and another new Irish player. It's very interesting to try and pass on what I've learned over the past months to them.

A game between myself and Tom (tomukaze)



I think I got a poor result in the top right and missed some key sente moves in the endgame, and probably loads of stuff in the midgame too.

Edit: Oh, there were some things played out in the yose just to see if there was an aji rather than it being serious play.

I think that it's not so much that you have to get reasonably strong as that your opponents have to get strong enough so that you can learn something. By all means give handicaps as a social thing, but don't take them too seriously.

_________________
The Adkins Principle:
At some point, doesn't thinking have to go on?
— Winona Adkins

Visualize whirled peas.

Everything with love. Stay safe.

A few comments.



Tips:

Watch out for the double wing.

Beware of falling behind. Consider the whole board, not just your own sphere of influence. Mutual destruction may be best.

_________________
The Adkins Principle:
At some point, doesn't thinking have to go on?
— Winona Adkins

Visualize whirled peas.

Everything with love. Stay safe.

Thank you Bill and Ed for your comments.

Ed, you're completely correct, not extending there was spineless.

Bill, you're correct, I just wasn't paying attention to the whole board, a key problem of mine at the moment.

A game with TwitchGo. I was completely outplayed. I think I'm around 10k KGS strength at the moment, if that.

Too many slow, over-concentrated moves in the opening, waiting far too late to reduce White's potential on the left. Poor choice of pincer in the bottom right I think as well as me playing terribly down there and giving him a huge turn. Some horrible misreads too. Still, an enjoyable game and has put me in the mood for more.



Ignore the variations, I was just looking at the bottom right situation with GoGoD to see what mistakes I made and I'm too tired to go edit the sgf file and remove them.

Take home points from the game:

a) Need to fight smarter/better in the corners.
b) Need to reduce my opponent's potential as a matter of priority rather than taking territory for myself.

Suggestions:
(a*) Fight smarter/better everywhere, on every single move, not just in the corners.
(b*) If reducing/invading is good for you, do it;
if just building your own moyo/territory is good for you, do it.

Perhaps I approach go with the wrong mentality. I focus too much on the life of my groups and not on the game board itself. I don't think it's an issue of doing too many tsumego, this was observed in my play back when I was 22k. Hmm, maybe I need to experiment with a less passive/defensive style? I don't know. Looking over today's game with oren, I went for life when I was behind pretty much sealing the game for my opponent, this is the kind of mentality I need to challenge I think.


In heath news, I'm pretty sure I'm depressed at the moment from my sleep disturbance, lack of concentration, negative outlook on life and so on. Doing problems and playing games is taking the edge off though, which is nice.

If we focus on any one thing to the exclusion of everything else, we're in trouble.
Most of us have this problem, I think.
Focus too much on a single leaf, we lose sight of the tree;
focus too much on a single tree, we lose sight of the forest. (*) Cliche, cliche.
We're trying to see everything. Both the local and the global.
I'm blind most of the time.




___________
(*) Most recently encountered in Vagabond by Inoue Takehiko.